The Currency of Faith

          I recently read a comic book in which Wonder Woman said something I found sort of amazing. She said, “Gods… are self aware ideas. They use concept-weapons, anti-life equations, hunter-killer metaphors.” Of course, when you have a chaos magician like Grant Morrison writing the script, one can’t be too surprised when classic heroes like Wonder Woman and Batman start making deeply mystical insights into the realms of theology and metaphysics. Morrison understands that not only are all of our apparently physical forms sustained and directed by essentially energetic forces, but that all of this energy itself exists within a strange field of quantum probability, one which is acted upon and possibly even shaped by the internal forms that we all generate deep within our own minds. The pious and misguided may still look to the sky in search of divinity, but we magicians know to look within; it's far bigger in there than you might think.

         The paradox of having an all powerful and all loving God who exists in the face of enduring and increasingly more complex evils is one that has, in my opinion, never been adequately addressed by those who would have me believe my faith is anything other than a self sustained, albeit necessary, illusion. That we are left alone to face the manifestations of our worst fears cannot be excused simply on the grounds that an ultimately just God might wish to preserve our freewill, or to force us to fall back on our own resources, or to rely upon each other, all for our own good. This argument only could be applied to a very small number of cases; those select few circumstances where the people in question might realistically be expected to rise above whatever problems they have encountered. Unfortunately, the powers that move the world do not appear to be unified beneath the will of any one supreme being, but if they were, He, She, or It certainly could not be said to be full of compassion, love, and goodness. Of course, how many people would be willing to worship a peevishly adolescent God of perverse curiosities? No takers? Well fine; I hope you'll be willing to accept something in a trickster God, ‘cause I'm afraid that's all I have left in stock right now.

         At those times when I find myself completely overwhelmed with hopelessness and despair over the state of things as I perceive them to be, my best and final refuge is a state that I can only describe as “defiant disbelief.” This makes a great deal of sense given my experiences. After all, as a fully conscious magician I'm well aware of how often events seem to bend to the will or wills of any number of self-interested observers, and how essentially dream-like the world can be. Bearing repeated witness to this subtle principle has provided me with a deep and enduring faith in some manner of utterly deceptive, and often perversely cruel, God, one who appears to want nothing more than to bear a similar witness to the full extent of our own potential resourcefulness; so on those rare occasions when life completely overwhelms me, I simply remember the face of this great deceiver, and simply stop being deceived.

         My experience up to this point has inspired me to believe in little else, and I often can’t understand how other people manage to survive without the existential luxury of such a basic cosmological pessimism as this. However, I am more than savvy enough to realize how important it is that I also project healthier images onto these only apparently random events that continue to unfold all around me; images of a divine protector, an invisible benefactor, one who, in the end, really does have, if not a plan for the best, at the very least our best interests at heart. After all, if I am living in some sort of dream, one which may be controlled, at least for the time being, by some unseen adversary, why then should I not attempt to dream up an unseen ally as well; a deus ex machina, if you will. Perhaps, in the end, such dreams as these are all that will really matter.

         Although I do not believe in a divine unification above, I very much believe in the seemingly undeniable existence of the basic power itself. Knowing full well then what is ultimately at stake, I've also come to believe, very strongly, that those of us who've born witness to the existence and activity of magick must do whatever we can to ensure that it works towards the best ends possible. If there ever was, or still is, a true Illuminati, its primary interest would be to gain uncontestable control over such a power, but I assure you that, no matter what the playing field may look like these days, it's still up to each one of us to take full responsibility for our own individual shares of it; God begins inside you. Good Luck and Namaste.

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